Barbs & Jabs

Questions, question

The blog’s questions of the day are about York Regional chairman Bill Fisch and road kill.
The most important question will be answered first.
“How come there’s so much road kill these days?” a Newmarket voter wants to know.
Since the municipal election campaign is under way, a politician-style answer is in order.
Here’s the answer: Raccoons have been making raccoons in great numbers. The previous council knew it and, of course, did nothing about it.  I can’t stress enough that the next time there’s a raccoon trying to deep six itself on the pavement, as your councillor, I will call for a study. 
Question # 2
“How come York Regional Chairman Bill Fisch isn’t elected?” asks Nancy from King Township.
The answer is easy: is there anyone out there who wants to vote for Bill Fisch?

I'll never assume you care about anything

A King Township candidate is mad at me for accusing him of caring about the environment.
Let’s set the record straight: Ward 1 candidate Stephen Kornblum wants it known: he has nothing to say and has said nothing about the air, the water, global warming or even polar ice caps. 
I caught Mr. Kornblum smoking, assumed he was environmentally conscious and suggested he can’t suck and blow at the same time.
Since Mr. Kornblum took time away from his life-long nicotine habit to call for a retraction, it’s only fair that he get one.
Let it be known: I will never assume anyone cares about anything ever again. So sorry.
Other candidates take note: If you’re going to take shots at me, check your ammunition. As a veteran of the fourth estate, I run with the foxes and hunt with the hounds. I’ve been booed, screwed and tattooed. If that’s not enough, I’m rough, tough, hard to bluff and very used to hardship. As a bonus, I’ve got a sense of humour. If I didn’t poke fun at politicians and wanna-bes, I’d wither up and die.

Decisions, decisions

Does Mayor Phyllis sound better than MPP Morris?
Or would you prefer MP Phyllis Morris.
A whole flock of birds are telling us the Aurora councillor is minutes away from quitting council and taking another stab at being mayor or directing her amazing energy toward Queen’s Park.
If Phyllis runs for the provincial Liberals, she’ll square off against Frank Klees, one of the best MPPs the Tories have to offer.
Then again, if Phyllis goes after the mayor’s job to make it a three-way race, she joins incumbent mayor Tim Jones and Nigel Kean in vote-splitting, Aurora style.
Phyllis might want to throw in both towels and run for the federal Liberals in Newmarket-Aurora. I’ll bet the rent the moment the Conservatives call an election, local MP Belinda Stronach will retire from politics and we’d send Phyllis  to Ottawa.
According to a blog tipster, watching Aurora council is “better than Coronation Street, but unfortunately the characters are less believable”.

                  

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King Township candidates Jeff Laidlaw in Ward 2 and Stephen Kornblum in Ward 1 have been caught smoking.
Come on guys, you can’t profess to care about the environment and continue to light up. Simply put: you can’t suck and blow at the same time.
Mr. Laidlaw and his opponent, incumbent Peter Grandilli, have called a truce and agree  election signs are an eyesore and an unnecessary use of resources. Consequently, the two candidates are limiting themselves to a total of 40 signs at 20 locations.
If I lived in King Township and was looking for a place to park my vote, I’d be more swayed by a candidate who opted to have zero signs.  As for signs, you’re either for or against.
Sucking and blowing at the same time is getting to be a habit in King Township.

Election brings out ringing endorsements, pizza orders

King Township mayoralty candidate Steve Pellegrini is being endorsed by John Sewell and Hal Jackson.
I didn’t know the former mayor of Toronto and the former Lieutenant Governor of Ontario live in King Township.
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Here’s the skinny from East Gwillimbury.
According to Mayor Jamie Young, other than the pursuit of democracy, nothing’s going on in the north.
He may be the youngest mayor in York Region, but Master Young isn’t a whole lot of fun.
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Let’s call for a truce, Aurora.
The municipal incumbent candidates should take a break from their ongoing attacks on each other and answer this question.
How many people live in Aurora?
Depending on which way to enter this fine town, the population is different.
The sign from the south says 32,000 people live in Aurora, but if you’re heading to town from the north, it says they’re are 43,000 residents. How can Aurora find or lose 11,000 at the same time?
The other day, an Aurora voter answered his door only to find Mayor Tim Jones standing on his doorstep.
The voter looked the mayor square in the eye and said, “Double cheese, double pepperoni.”
It turned out the voter used to work in a pizza parlour where Mr. Jones was their best customer. The mayor wasn’t known as his worship. Rather, he was known for double dipping. Pass it on.
If you have heard of any quirky, inside-track election banter, please pass it along to [email protected]

Battles brewing

Take some dirt and add a little water ... It’s election time.
Now that nominations for the Nov. 13 municipal election will close in a week, the mud slinging is under way.
In  Newmarket, Ward 1 candidate Tom Vegh is lost. The former councillor can’t seem to find the high road.
In his full-page media release announcing his candidacy, other than vowing to serve the town with “vigour and enthusiasm,” Mr. Vegh said nothing about himself.
Instead, in his quest to make a comeback, Mr. Vegh focused on incumbent Chad McCleaves’ whereabouts the past three years. Instead of voting, we need to send out a search party. Apparently, Councillor McCleave is also lost. According to Mr. Vegh, Councillor McCleave has been missing or late for meetings “92 per cent”  of the time.
  Of course, Mr. McCleave challenges Mr. Vegh’s math skills, claiming he made it to the council meetings “75 per cent” of the time. 
Mr. McCleave couldn’t, however, give an estimate of his attendance at council’s committee of the whole meetings.
“Committee of the whole is just a dress rehearsal for council,” Mr. McCleave said.
“I don’t know my attendance rate. The vote that counts is at council.”
Mr. McCleave has a dilemma. He’d like to bow out of politics, but he’s not happy with the candidates who have filed to run in Ward 1.
“When Mr. Vegh was on council, he didn’t do a very good job,”  Mr. McCleave said. He also said Brain Johns is “connected” to the developer that’s building the environmental housing on the Stickwood-Walker lands.
Mr. Johns is proud of his connection to Rodeo Fine Homes. Now, here’s what really happened.
As a citizen and business owner, Mr. Johns addressed Newmarket council in support of the initiative to deliver an environmentally sustainable housing project to town. Mr. Johns likes the cutting edge “green” approach to the development made up of 34 homes.
“I’m really proud of what I did,”  Mr. Johns stressed. “Finally Newmarket was doing something about water shortages and electricity shortages. Newmarket was taking a  pro-active position and I backed it.”
Mr. McCleave is, indeed, in a quandary.
“Based on the Tom Foolery that I’m seeing in these candidates, I may have to reconsider and run,”  he said.   
Lost is one thing. Confused is another.
Soon after Mr. Johns announced he’d run in Newmarket’s Ward 1, he withdrew from the race, only to re-enter again.  While it looks as if he’s in to the bitter end this time, we’ll keep an eye on him.
We may need to invest in security anklets, similar to what criminals wear, just to keep track of our politicians.
In the meantime, let’s encourage all candidates to get “connected” to environmentally sensitive developers.   
Every time there’s an election, dead soldiers find themselves on the campaign.
Election 2006 is no exception. Former Newmarket councillor Ray Snow paid more than $250 to buy an advertisement in The Era-Banner telling voters that undeclared candidate Mr. McCleave and mayoralty candidate Diane Springstein voted against spending $4,650 to refurbish the memorials of our fallen soldiers.
Days later, in a letter to the editor, resident Don Humeniuk told voters councillors Springstein and McCleave requested Veterans Affairs pay for the repairs to the memorials.
Veteran Affairs agreed and picked up the tab. Good job councillors Springstein and McCleave.
Thanks is extended to Mr. Snow for bringing it up. It gives us yet another chance to get to the truth.
Newmarket doesn’t have a monopoly on confusion.
Almost immediately after Aurora Councillor Evelyn Buck put her name in for the mayor’s job she had second thoughts and withdrew.
Seconds later, realizing she likes being a politician, she filed for re-election as a councillor. Mrs. Buck and Aurora go way back. She’s especially remembered for hitting Councillor Ron Wallace over the head with a newspaper. Don’t hold it against her. Mrs. Buck said she was sorry. 
While Mrs. Buck and Wendy Gaertner are the only councillor incumbents seeking re-election in Aurora, Councillor Damir Vrancic has had enough.
He’s out of the race. Unless, in the next seven days Mr. Vrancic does an about-face, finds himself and jumps back in.
Aurora’s fence is getting crowded: councillors Ron Wallace, Phyllis Morris, John West and Bill Hogg have yet to file papers signalling an intent to run in the upcoming election.
It makes one wonder: Are they afraid of each other? Remember, Mrs. Buck is not the only one with a bit of a temper.
In fact, if your mother wears army boots, you might consider running for Aurora council. After Mrs. Buck swatted Mr. Wallace during a meeting, Mr. Hogg called Councillor Nigel Kean’s attitude “bullshit.” 
Meanwhile, Mr. Kean said he expected Mr. West to apologize for twice calling him stupid and threatening to strike him, forcing Mr. Wallace to step in between the two.
Mr. West apologized. Well, sort of. He said he was sorry Mr. Kean was stupid.
So what’s happening in East Gwillimbury and King Township? And, what’s the skinny on mayor’s races across all four municipalities.
The quiet is getting scary.