Dear Boss:
Yes, it's me again.
I know this is the third letter within a week, but I've just found another example of your being mean.
In my first letter, I suggested I be treated like Hydro One CAO Tom Parkinson. After little Tommy mismanaged millions of dollars, the government gave him $3 million. When I offered to take a hike for a mere million, you threatened to fire me and have me arrested.
In my second letter, I hinted you should model yourself after the premier of Ontario and tag an additional $22,000 onto my annual salary. Since the 25-per-cent salary hike for our MPPs is one or two steps away from a done deal, I figured you'd want me to have the same.
I was a little disappointed in your response. When you threatened to kick me to the curb, I had to question this free-enterprise style of bossing.
But Boss, let's let bygones be bygones. This letter is about Christmas.
Did you know our MPs have already fled Ottawa for the Christmas/New Year's break. They're not going back to work until the end of January.
And, then there's me.
I get two days off at Christmas. Here's my work-free schedule:
Christmas Day: three hours to pack and travel, eight hours to cook and serve and three hours of washing up.
Boxing Day: It'll be a breeze: two hours to help clean up some relative's house, three hours to pack and travel, one hour to unload and half an hour to get clothes ready for work the next day.
Boss, I know my manners. Thanks for two days to celebrate Christmas. If I have any time left over, I'll call my MP and ask what I can do for Canada.
Love Joan
(in newsroom at the back of the building)
Dear Joan:
What part of You Don't Work for the Government, don't you understand? If you start acting like an MP and not turn up to work until the end of January, you can take the rest of your life off.
Merry Christmas.
The Boss
(in the big office at the front of the building)
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