Some things never change

When you're facing financial ruin, you need to know the answers to the following questions:
•  Do cows dream in colour?
•  Are birds experiencing flight problems?
•  What makes a frog leap?
•  What do the Italians do with their garbage?
•  Do you need a tall building to jump from?
Cash-strapped Toronto is putting the threat of bankruptcy aside to do the right thing: the city's spending $5,000 to send a councillor to Hungary to attend the World Association of Zoos and Aquarium's 62nd annual conference.
Since we're Hogtown's neighbour, I can't tell you how relieved I am to learn that when Toronto Councillor Giorgio Mammoliti arrives in Budapest next week, he'll get a first-hand account of flight restraints for birds.
Think about it: Those damned birds might want to fly to Markham or Keswick. Are we on their  flight path? If so, we'd better hit up the taxpayer for $8,000  to pay for the Hungarian bird welcoming party.
Isn't life grand? The moment we think we're doomed, the likes of Councillor Mammoliti comes along and saves the day.
It was the same 20 years ago. During the recession, when businesses were folding like accordions, the unemployment lines resembled something out of the dirty '30s and hard-working folks were losing their homes, the Ontario government found the courage to come up with enough grant money to let a Canadian university determine, once and for all, if cows dream in colour.
I forget if the university found out if Bossy dreams in black and white or in every damned colour of the rainbow, but I'll never forget how hard the Queen's Park spin doctors worked to make the over-burdened taxpayer feel all warm and fuzzy when paying the freight. 
Take it from me - times, they are not achanging. 
Last month, York Regional chairperson Bill Fisch, Vaughan Mayor Linda Jackson and her husband, two other regional politicians and a couple of over-paid bureaucrats quietly slipped out of the region and headed for Italy.
Among other things, the group checked out the trash. The trip cost you $26,000 and you're still waiting for the garbage report.
What is it about Italian trash?
The minute Italy whips off a new way to hide its garbage, Canadian politicians beeline to the airport. Funny thing — the politicians are always Italy-bound in the summer. When you're packing the tent to take the kids camping at Sibbald's Point  Provincial Park, your public servants are taking in the glorious sights of Rome.
I wrote my first local-politician-heads-to-Italy story in 1979 when Ajax Councillor Henry Westney flew to Rome to visit  a new energy-from-waste facility that promised to turn garbage into steam to heat whole towns. The process worked so well, Ajax did the right thing and soundly rejected it.
There are, however, two differences between then and now: Councillor Westney paid his own way and reported his findings about nine seconds after returning home.
Don't despair: while at the little birdies and wiggly and crawly things conference, the Toronto councillor might determine if leap-frogging is a natural phenomenal or just caused by radioactive waste.
If, by chance, you're heading to the tall building to take the leap, be forewarned — there's a mile-long lineup.